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From freethoughpedia.

Jesus loves the little zygotes
all the zygotes of the world.
Jesus loves them until they’re born
then abandons them forlorn.
Jesus loves the little zygotes ’til they’re born.

Jesus loves the little children
all the children of the world.
Jesus gives them heart defects
measles, mumps, and ringwormed necks.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Jesus lets their parents beat them,
bruise their bodies black and blue.
Jesus gives them birth defects,
scurvy, ticks, and palette clefts.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Jesus gives the children cancer.
Earaches, lice, and scabies too.
Bowel obstructions, altered lips,
blighted brains and twisted hips.
Extra chromosomes to help them when they pray.

Hallelujah.

Jesus gives the children acne.
AIDS and leprosy galore.
Germs and worms of every kind.
Things to make the children blind.
But he cannot give them smallpox anymore.

Scientists and unbelievers
wiped the pox right off the earth.
Jesus still gives gifts to kids,
broken nose and burnt eyelids.
But he cannot give them smallpox anymore.

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Christian the Lion.

My friend Buttercup sent me this. Looking into it, I learned that it’s a true story. The reunion shown here took place in 1972.

Here’s a much more recent interview with Christian’s friends, John Rendall and Ace Bourke:

Hello there.

Is it really possible I’ve had nothing to say for a week?

Well, I’ve got a whole bunch of new responsibilities at work, and I’ve had bronchitis or something, and I had oral surgery. So when I’ve had time to blog, I haven’t felt like it.

But I’m still around, and now that the Democrats have crushed the Republicans (at least for now), I’m gearing up to lash out at the Democrats for a change. If you read this blog, it probably seems like I’m angry at everybody all the time, but not really. I just have a boundless capacity for contempt for politicians and religious leaders. And they’ve earned it; you know they have.

More soon.

Joe Lieberman
And, by extension, the 42 anonymous Democratic senators who voted to let Lieberman keep his Homeland Security Committee chairmanship.

Lieberman, of course, is a rat bastard all the time, but he deserves special mention this week for somehow persuading the Democratic Party to kiss his ass even after he pissed all over them, their candidates, and their purported principles.

This is not about reconciliation. This about rewarding a dirty, lying bastard, Shrub’s favorite bitch, who on top of everything else is a terrible committee chairman. When it comes to homeland security, Joe Lieberman has his head so far up his ass that he can see his tonsils.

This was done with the encouragement of President-elect Obama, and in my book it doesn’t bode well. Lieberman is without honor, a man with no sense of loyalty and no regard for the truth, and a man who is frankly not even competent at the job. And the Democrats are not just unapologetic, they are fucking proud of rewarding this jackass.

I was so disgusted that I almost named Harry Reid rat bastard of the week, but I figured, give the Mormons a break for a minute. Lieberman is the bastard that Reid is a bastard for supporting.

Don’t ask the Pope; don’t ask the Mormon Prophet; don’t ask any religious leader at all. Ask Princess Sparkle Pony.

I love PSP. I especially love PSP when she’s pissed off. Tuesday, Princess called out the Human Rights Campaign:

… practically the only time I ever hear about the HRC accomplishing anything, it’s always a cocktail party, an expensive fundraiser, or an awards ceremony where the honors are generally given to, um, HRC members or important celebrities like Lance Bass. “What does the HRC actually do?” I wondered. My friend offered, “I think they mostly send out press releases.”

Read the full post here.

As it happens, Autumn Sandeen also called the HRC out Tuesday over at Pam’s.

And Monday, Andrew Sullivan said the HRC was useless.

I think it’s time to re-think gay activism. I think the college kids got more done this past weekend than HRC is ever going to accomplish. Let’s take it to the streets; let’s take it to the people.

I predict that it won’t be long before most of us are pretty pissed off at the Democrats for accomplishing much less than promised. I may be wrong — I certainly hope I am wrong — but I think it’s time to ask ourselves whether throwing millions of dollars at the Democratic Party has really been a very effective way of getting anything accomplished. Results talk; bullshit walks. If we allow the Democrats to take us for granted, they will. Apparently, that goes for the HRC, too.

I will say one thing for the HRC’s ability to unite our community, though: they’ve got me agreeing with Andrew Sullivan.

Dick MaloneWhy are so many of Jebus’ friends so fucking stupid?

The Roman Catholic Bishop of Portland, Richard Malone, has issued a statement condemning same-sex marriage. Big surprise, right? But get what he says:

To redefine marriage to include same-sex couples is to strip marriage of an essential component, namely the ability and obligation to procreate. To strip marriage of this essential component is to render marriage meaningless and open it up to endless revision and redefinition.

Jesus. You’ve got to wonder who ties this guy’s shoes for him. According to Benny the Dick’s official spokesman in Maine (Benny being Jebus’ official spokesman on earth), the ability and obligation to procreate is an essential component of marriage. Furthermore, to strip marriage of this essential component is to render marriage meaningless.

So there you have it, straight from the guy who speaks for the guy who speaks for Jebus. Marriage has been meaningless ever since the first time an infertile person got married. Without the ability and obligation to procreate, you don’t have a marriage, and if you’re allowed to marry anyway, then everybody’s marriage is meaningless.

Of course, that means that everybody’s marriage is meaningless already, and every marriage from time immemorial has been meaningless, too. If you pick at Malone’s absurd statement, I’m sure you can find a heresy there. Better yet, you can grow up and realize that the story of Santa Claus is more plausible than the claims of the morally bankrupt Catholic hierarchy.

Can any intelligent person really believe that assholes like Malone really have anything to do with Jesus?

I understand, of course, that the Catholic clergy don’t approve of sex between consenting adult men, but isn’t about time they realized that altar boys just aren’t for everybody?

Isn’t it about time they just stopped and fucking thought about what they were saying for once?

Well, my lesbian gaydar must be broken. It never even occurred to me that Wanda might be gay. What a nice surprise!

Just Jared reports:

“[After Barack Obama was elected,] I thought, man we are moving in the right direction. And then at about 11 o’clock I was crushed. We took a huge leap forward and then got dragged 12 feet back. I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked, our community was attacked. I got married Oct. 25, I don’t really talk about my sexual orientation, I felt like I was living my life, I wasn’t in the closet, but I was just living my life. Everybody who knows me personally, they know I’m gay. And that’s the way people should be able to live our lives, really. We shouldn’t have to be standing out here demanding something we automatically should have as citizens of this country. … They pissed off the wrong group of people. They have galvanized a community. We are so together now and we all want the same thing and we shouldn’t have to settle for less. Instead of having gay marriage in California, no, we’re gonna have gay marriage across the country. When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage also recognized in Nevada, in Arizona, all the way to New York. … I’m proud to be a woman, I’m proud to be a black woman and I’m proud to be gay.

Here’s a longer video of Wanda’s speech: