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Posts Tagged ‘republicans’

Bill Maher nails it:

People talk a lot about third political party in America. We don’t need a third party, we need a first party. You go to the polls, and your choices are the guy who voted for the first Wall Street bailout or the guy who voted for the next ten. This week we’re hearing that a public option for healthcare is unlikely, because it doesn’t have the support of enough Democrats. Even Ted Kennedy’s plan — Ted Kennedy, yeah — leaves 37 million uninsured. This is because we don’t have a left and a right party in this country anymore; we have a center-right party and a crazy party. And over the last thirty-odd years Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into a mental hospital.

So what we have is one perfectly good party for hedge fund managers, credit card companies, banks, defense contractors, big agriculture, and the pharmaceutical lobby. That’s the Democrats. And they sit across the aisle from a small group of religious lunatics, flat-earthers, and Civil War re-enactors, who mostly communicate by AM radio and call themselves the Republicans, and who actually worry that Obama is a socialist.

Socialist? He’s not even a liberal. I know he’s not, because he’s on TV and while I see Democrats on television, I don’t see actual liberals. And if occasionally you do get to hear Ralph Nader or Noam Chomsky or Dennis Kucinich, they’re treated like buffoons. Okay, these are not three of the world’s most charismatic men, but then, nobody’s going to confuse Newt Gingrich for Zac Efron, and I have to look at his fat face on TV more often than that Free Credit Report song.

Shouldn’t there be one party that unambiguously supports cutting the military budget? A party that is straight-up in favor of gun control, gay marriage, higher taxes on the rich, universal healthcare, legalizing pot, and steep direct taxing of polluters? These aren’t radical ideas. A majority of Americans are either already for them, or would be if they were properly argued and defended. And what we need is an actual progressive party to represent the millions of Americans who aren’t being served by the Democrats. Because bottom line: Democrats are the new Republicans.

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Pentecostals should not be allowed to vote. I am in favor of allowing Pentecostals hospital visitation rights and the right to sign contracts just like real grownups, but I’m not in favor of redefining the traditional definition of citizenship. Pentecostals are not citizens, indeed, cannot be citizens. It’s not God’s will for Pentecostals to vote, as we can see if we turn to our Bibles, where we find not a single instance of a Pentecostal being allowed to vote. Also, our Constitution never makes any mention of redefining citizenship to allow Pentecostals to vote. None of our founding fathers was a Pentecostal; not a single citizen of the United States during the first century of our independence was a Pentecostal. Our founding fathers could not have envisioned a situation in which Pentecostals would someday be allowed to vote.

In allowing certain limited rights to Pentecostals, we must be careful not to go closer and closer towards redefining the traditional definition of citizenship. And unfortunately that’s sometimes where those steps lead.

But I also want to clarify, if there’s any kind of suggestion at all from my answer that I would be anything but tolerant of adults in America choosing the religions and superstitions they deem best for themselves, you know, I am tolerant and I have a very diverse family and group of friends and even within that group you would see some who may not agree with me on this issue, some very dear friends who don’t agree with me on this issue.

When I say I’m tolerant of Pentecostals, I mean I expect them to respect my right to prevent them from voting, and in return I will respect their right not to be thrown into jail for being Pentecostals. I believe in extending to Sarah Palin and people who have made the same choices she has made, the same kind of tolerance they extend to me. That is, I will allow them to live, and I will decide which civil liberties and which rights under the law they are entitled to.

Oh, and Pentecostals shouldn’t be allowed to marry, either. More on that later.

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Before the Council for National Policy picked Sarah Palin to be John McCain’s running mate, I didn’t have a very clear picture of Alaska’s citizens. If I thought of them at all, I thought of them in historical terms, as descendants of Russian colonists and as proud upholders of Aleut, Athabascan, and Inuit culture.

It seems, however, that Alaska is full of redneck Bible thumpers from the Lower 48, and is prepared to stand its own against any of the former slave states in promoting bigotry, superstition, crooked politicians, thuggery, and sheer assholery. I mean, Jebus, look what they’ve got for a governor, and look how popular she is up there. It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that the average Alaskan is crazy as a bedbug.

Oh, I know. You’re thinking, “Um, have you seen South Carolina?” And you’re right. South Carolina is chock full o’ nuts. But that’s how I know. Living in South Carolina has given me a decades-long opportunity to study bigots, homophobes, and religious nutcases in their native habitat. Before I was from South Carolina, I was from West Florida, and if Florida makes you think of Jews, Cubans, and Walt Disney, think again. West Florida is more like Dothan, Alabama, than Miami. The Deep South is overflowing with idiots and lunatics; did you really think our religions and our politics would be possible otherwise?

I knew the Deep South was crazy. Before Palin, though, I didn’t know Alaska was equally crazy.

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All bets are off.

Okay, I know what I said about watching my language and not using so much profanity, but all bets are off, because — oh, my fucking God — have you fucking seen this?

Seriously, what the hell?

A party representing roughly half of this once great country actually chose this halfwit, this embarrassment, this stupid fucking bitch, as the best person to be next in line for the presidency. Just how fucking stupid are you, America? Are you really this fucking stupid? Palin stupid?

I don’t believe it. I don’t believe, America, that you’re really as fucking stupid as the Republicans think you are. I hope I’m right. Please, show me that I’m right about you.

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Dammit, the GOP actually offered a campaign item I would have bought, but I missed it. The “Student’s for McCain” pen has been removed from the website.

 

See: Maybe they should have spent the money on more school

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Margaret Cho

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Check this out, over at Pam’s House Blend:

The GOP’s “Friends & Family” money laundering scheme

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